Published November 2025.
Here’s the truth about holiday travel and sleep: most of what you’re worrying about doesn’t matter.
I get it. You’ve worked hard on your child’s sleep schedule. Maybe you just finished sleep training. Maybe you finally got consistent bedtimes working. And now you’re about to spend 3 days at Grandma’s house sharing a queen sized bed with a dog, a toddler, and a 14 month old who demands to exit the Pack N Play at 3am.
You’re expecting disaster.
But here’s what I’ve learned after 21 years of pediatric sleep medicine (and 18 years of being a parent): kids are surprisingly resilient when it comes to short-term disruptions. It’s our anxiety about those disruptions that creates most of the problems. In this post, I tried to answer questions from my email list. You should sign up!
Story Time: When the “Sleep Expert” Can’t Get His Kid to Sleep
Full disclosure here: my oldest used to have a night terror EVERY NIGHT we slept in a new place. Neither my parents nor my in-laws lived in huge houses—so his screaming would wake up the whole house. And let me tell you—nothing makes you lose credit as a “sleep expert” when you can’t get your child to stop screaming in the middle of the night.
I used to dread these trips. I was a bad sleeper as a kid too and this brought out a lot of my own anxiety about sleep. Transitional times (like the night before school, the first night of vacation) would result in sleepless nights for me. (And I still had bad insomnia the night before moving my older son to college this year). I would get stressed about making sure that every piece of my sons’ sleep routines was perfectly replicated whenever we traveled. And it made things more stressful than they had to be.
Last week, I asked my newsletter subscribers what they’re worried about for Thanksgiving travel. The responses were incredible—and I realized you’re all asking versions of the same questions I used to stress about. So let’s go through them together.
The One Thing That Actually Matters
Before we dive into your specific questions, here’s the foundation:
Focus on maintaining your bedtime routine. Not the timing. The routine itself.
If your routine at home is bath-book-bed, do bath-book-bed at Grandma’s. If it’s pajamas-teeth-three stories-lights out, do that. Even if it happens at 9pm instead of 7:30pm.
The sequence creates the sleep cue. The timing is negotiable for a few days. And the cue will calm you down as well.
Your Questions, Answered
“We’re sharing a room with two kids who’ve never slept together. Help!”
Christina asks: “I’m concerned about room sharing with both kids; we currently share a room with the baby, but the baby and the toddler have never slept in the same room together. The toddler likes to ‘play’ with the baby and we need to really keep an eye on him.”
This is one of the most common concerns—and it’s legitimate. Here’s what actually works:
The staged bedtime approach:
- Put whoever is the better sleeper down first (usually the baby)
- Keep the toddler occupied elsewhere until the baby is deeply asleep (15-20 minutes)
- Then bring the toddler in for their routine
Note that there are some situations where a toddler or preschooler is not napping may go to sleep earlier than an infant. Obviously, if there is a safety concern, keep a close eye.
If the toddler will wake the baby:
- Consider doing your toddler’s entire bedtime routine in the bathroom or another space
- Use white noise for both kids to create acoustic separation
- Accept that the first night might be rough, but night 2 is usually much better
Should you practice at home first? Personally, I wouldn’t bother. Don’t create a new problem trying to prevent a hypothetical one.
“My just-sleep-trained baby will be at Grandma’s on Christmas. Will she cry all night?”
Lashay asks: “We just sleep trained our 9-month-old using Ferber last month. We’re staying at Grandma and Grandpa’s for 2 weeks. What if she wakes up every hour crying? What do I say to my parents who are hearing their granddaughter cry?”
First: congratulations on successful sleep training. That’s hard work.
Here’s what I tell families: A sleep-trained baby usually maintains those skills in new environments. You’re not starting from scratch. You’re just dealing with temporary disruption.
What to expect:
- Night 1: Possible protest at bedtime (15-20 minutes)
- Nights 2-3: Usually much better
- Middle-of-night wakings: Brief and self-resolving if she was sleeping through before
What to tell your parents:
Before you arrive, have this conversation: “She might cry for 10-15 minutes at bedtime while she adjusts. This is normal and she’s not in distress. We’ll be right outside the door, but we’re not going to pick her up unless something is wrong. If you hear crying, please don’t knock on the door or come in—that will make it harder for everyone.”
If they push back, you can use me as the bad guy: “Our pediatric sleep doctor said this is normal adjustment and we should stick to our routine.”
“We’ll be driving home at bedtime. Now what?”
Sarah asks: “We’re leaving at 7:30pm and won’t be home until 10pm. Both kids go to sleep before 9pm every night. Should I do a modified routine before we get in the car, or wait until we get home?”
This is smart thinking. Here’s the strategy:
Before the drive:
- Full bath/pajamas/teeth at relatives’ house
- Quick stories or songs in a quiet room
- Then into car seats with minimal fuss
In the car:
- Dim interior lights if possible
- Play soft music or white noise
- Keep conversation quiet
When you arrive home:
- Transfer directly to beds if they’re asleep
- If they wake up: brief cuddle, into bed, lights off
- No second wind activities (no screens, no playing)
The next morning: Expect them to wake at their normal time regardless of when they fell asleep. Most little kids have relatively set wake times. I don’t have a problem with letting them sleep in the next day (for an hour or so) if that will let you enjoy a little extra sleep (or perhaps a cup of coffee while it’s hot.
“My kids go nuts on vacation and stay up until 10pm”
Lisa asks: “My kids (4 & 7) get really hyper and excited on trips and usually share a room/bed. They stay up really late. It’s fun for a few days but when we travel for longer than 5-6 days it gets exhausting. We’re going to Hawaii for 2.5 weeks.”
Two and a half weeks is long enough that you need actual structure, not just survival mode. That being said, some of this goofiness is part of the fun of travel— for a night or two. It’s likely a combination of excitement and the circadian “forbidden zone”. The latter occurs if your child is staying up a bit later than usual.
The vacation sleep schedule:
- If you like, you can pick a bedtime that’s reasonable for vacation mode (8:30pm instead of 7:30pm). However, in this situation, I might stick with the same clock time, which will feel two hours later to your kids. Often getting the bedtime just right entails a bit of trial and error.
- Stick to it every night after night 3
- Separate kids if possible—even different corners of the same room
- At this age, it should be feasible to do bedtime together, but if that doesn’t work, have each parent do a quiet bedtime on a separate bed.
The key phrase: “Vacation bedtime starts now. You don’t have to sleep, but you do have to stay in your bed quietly.”
For Hawaii specifically: First of all, Two weeks in Hawaii sounds AMAZING. The 2-hour time difference actually helps—their 8:30pm Hawaii time is 10:30pm body time, so they’ll be tired. The flip side is they will likely be two hours later. I’ll say a little bit more about time zone travel later.
“What about the drive home nap disaster?”
Evan asks: “Our Thanksgiving is 1.5 hours away and starts at 12:30pm. We’ll be home for bedtime but naps will be a mess. Early bedtimes when they skip naps only make our early wake-ups worse.”
You’ve identified a real problem—and you’re right that early bedtimes can sometimes backfire with early risers.
Here’s the fix:
- Let the 3-year-old sleep on the way there (that’s a decent nap)
- When you get home, do bedtime at the NORMAL time (not early)
- Accept that they might be cranky from 5-7pm
- The next day, get back on regular schedule immediately
Why not do early bedtime? For kids who are already 6am wakers, an early bedtime can trigger a 4:30am wake-up. Better to have one slightly crabby evening than several terrible mornings.
“Time zones are going to destroy us”
Jamie and Christina both asked about time zone changes—red-eye flights and 3-hour differences.
Time zone travel is legitimately harder than just driving to Grandma’s. Here’s what actually works:
For flights that leave after bedtime:
- Do pajamas and teeth BEFORE you leave for airport
- Bring pillow and favorite lovey
- Expect them to sleep poorly on plane
- First night at destination: put them down at “body clock” bedtime (not local time)
- Each subsequent day, shift by 30-60 minutes toward local time
The 3-hour rule: If you’re crossing 3+ time zones, plan for 3-5 days of adjustment going there, and another 3-5 coming home— if you plan on changing the time at all. Coming home: reverse the same principles. Expect the same adjustment period, but now in the opposite direction. See below for more details.
Time zone notes
For short trips (3-4 days or less), it is best to stay on your home schedule if possible. This is more likely to work if you are going on a vacation with your nuclear family, and less likely to work if you are visiting relatives.
In either scenario, controlling light (with black out curtains) can be especially helpful.
Travelling east is usually pretty easy and can be fun with older children— think late preschool or school age. Say you live in California and are traveling to Connecticut, as noted above— a three hour time change. If your child sleeps from 7pm to 6am, that will now be 10pm to 9am— you can enjoy some dinners out and perhaps a little more AM sleep if the room is dark. Realistically it never works out that perfectly as your child’s sleep schedule will adjust to the light changes, but you don’t need to worry about getting them on local time. Younger children may be overtired and actually go to bed closer to the local time if naps are disrupted. Blackout curtains help you sleep LATER (blocking early morning light so kids don’t wake at 6am local time when their body thinks it’s 3am)
Travelling west is easier for grown ups and teens— it’s always easier to stay up later and sleep in later. For younger children it can be harder. Let’s reverse the same example— going from CT to CA. A child sleeping from 7pm-6am will now have a natural schedule of sleeping from 4pm-3am new time (ouch). I remember going to San Francisco and enjoying a succulent Chinese meal, when my then twelve and nine year olds were sleeping in their lo mein. In this example, if you are anticipating some evening activities, I might try to inch your child’s bedtime a bit later— for 30-60 minutes every few days if you can for the week prior. Blackout curtainshelps you sleep EARLIER (blocking late evening light so kids can fall asleep at 7pm local time when their body thinks it’s only 4pm and the sun is still up)
When you return, typically your children will adjust fairly easily but you may have some adjustment.
Christina also mentioned that her 1 year old took two months to get on track sleep-wise after a prior trip. : That’s unusual and suggests your child had another issue. Time zone adjustments usually wash out with a few days (the formula is one day of adjustment per one hour of time zone change). More commonly, persistent sleep issues can result from a significant adjustment in routine— such as sharing a bed with a toddler and then the toddler demanding to share a room upon coming home. If things are not back to normal within a week or two post travel, I would talk to your pediatrician or a sleep expert.
“Disney/Theme Parks: Total Sleep Chaos?”
Sonya asks: “Tips on sleep during holiday Disney trips would be great. Would they get all overstimulated from the lights, people, noise? What about during transport—car/plane?”
Theme parks are the ultimate sleep disruptor—but that’s okay for short trips.
Disney survival strategy:
- Commit to ONE nap time every day (back to hotel or in stroller)
- Don’t try to close the park every night
- Build in “quiet” time mid-afternoon
- Bedtime might be 9pm instead of 7:30pm—that’s fine
- Bring blackout curtain (hotels are bright)
- White noise machine is essential
Transport naps: Let them happen. Don’t fight it. You can’t control every nap on a Disney trip.
What To Actually Pack
Based on all your questions, here’s what you actually need:
Essential:
- Portable white noise machine
- Special lovey/sleep object
- Their specific bedtime book (the one they request every night)
Helpful:
- Travel blackout curtains
- Night light if they use one
- Baby monitor if staying in separate room
- Black out sleep pods (that are age appropriate— toddlers and up.
Skip:
- Elaborate routines you don’t do at home
- New sleep products to “help” with travel
- Benadryl at all— can result in agitation. Melatonin should not be necessary for most kids and I would recommend talking to your pediatrician if you are considering this.
- Backup loveys they never use
Three Things You Can Actually Stop Worrying About
1. Room-sharing for a weekend
Yes, it can disrupt sleep. For a few days? You’ll all survive. Don’t create a bigger problem by stressing about a small one.
2. Missing naps
A few shortened or skipped naps won’t permanently damage your child’s sleep. Earlier bedtime that night. Done. Move on.
3. The “wrong” sleep environment
Too bright? Too loud? Not the ideal temperature? Kids adapt. If you’re worried, bring a sound machine and blackout curtains. But don’t catastrophize.
What To Do Before, During, and After
Before you leave:
- Stick to your normal schedule for 2-3 days before travel
- Pack your bedtime routine essentials
- Have the conversation with relatives about sleep expectations
While you’re there:
- Keep the bedtime routine, even if timing shifts
- If they’re overtired, move bedtime EARLIER
- Let grandparents spoil them during the day, but you control bedtime routine
When you get home:
- Expect 2-3 days of adjustment
- Get back on schedule immediately—don’t gradually transition
- If there’s protest, you may need a brief “refresher” on your sleep training method
The Real Survival Strategy
The goal isn’t perfect sleep during Thanksgiving. The goal is maintaining enough structure that you can get back on track quickly when you get home.
Think of it like this: if you eat pie for three days, you don’t forget how to eat vegetables. Your body just needs a day or two to readjust. Same with sleep.
Your child’s sleep skills don’t evaporate because they spent a weekend in a different environment. They just need a clear signal that we’re back to the regular routine.
When to Actually Worry
You should call your pediatrician or a sleep specialist if:
- Your child has sleep disruption that persists for more than a week or two after coming home.
- Your child develops new fears or anxiety around sleep
- You notice signs of sleep apnea (snoring, breathing pauses, sweating) when you share a room with your child.
One More Thing
If your child struggles with travel sleep, that’s not a failure of your parenting or sleep training. Some kids adapt easily to new environments. Some don’t. Both are normal. Neither is permanent.
And here’s what I can tell you now with a son in college and a son in high school: I laugh about the weird sleep arrangements and midnight awakenings and miss the chaos and fun of holidays with little kids. Don’t beat yourself up. You are doing your best.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving (and Christmas, and Hanukah, and New Years. . .) The sleep will sort itself out.
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